Happy mother’s day all!

I want to wish all great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, sisters and daughters a happy mother's day.

(My son Xavier wanted to pick me all the flowers, but we decided on taking them home in a picture format.) 

One of the most beautiful blessings in life is the presence of a child.  No matter if the child is biological or not, being around a child as it grows up is amazing.  The funny thing about time (for many) is that time has the ability to soften memories of hardship and struggle while enhancing the cherished ones.

My husband and I have come to the agreement that our youngest boy Xavier will be the last child we have.  My eldest son Duncan is turning 18 this year, and it just goes to show that time stops for no one.

It is sometimes hard to choose to be present with people I love.  I might be there, but my thoughts and actions are elsewhere.  It is a bad habit that we should get rid of it post haste and treat like the bubonic plague.  I work on seeking out moments of joy with people I care about on a daily basis, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem at the moment.  As I have recorded them, these moments have become a large treasure combined.  It takes a lot of effort to include and invite people into activities and chores.  How many times do we get-to-it by ourselves because it seems faster, easier and better that way?

Well, I will continue to refuse to hop on the grind train, and will not allow people and time to pass through my life as if I was in drunken haze, only to come up for air and a memorable view every decade or so.

Our family were forced to start anew when we moved to Sweden.  All we previously knew came to a halt and was done away with.  We were given an opportunity to recalibrate our path through life.  Our family gained a focus on appreciating each other; deal with each other justly and with love and respect.  Jeffrey and I decided to care more for eachother and work more as a team.  When our children see us together, they know with certainty that we belong.  We are one.  All have a voice in our home, all are seen and heard. Our time best spent is with each other.  We chose to raise a family by being active examples; talk and preach less - actively interact more.  We live by the phrase "talk is cheap" and "walk the talk! Give it a try.  It is good stuff for all.



Happy mother’s day to all important examples out there!  Take a moment to write down and document a cherished memory and keep it safe.  You will not regret it.

Fear not, you are numbered

"Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; 

And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." -D&C 50:41-42

"Ye are they whom my Father hath given me; ye are my friends;" -D&C 84:63

And the Father and I are one.  I am in the Father and the Father in me; and inasmuch as ye have received me, ye are in me and I in you." -D&C 50:43

Eternal love

"I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love."

2 Nephi 1:15

Shield of Righteousness

"Fear not,...: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward." -Jesus Christ, Genesis 15:1

The greatest sacrifice of all

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord:  though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson..." -Isaiah 1:18

"And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctifited, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God." -1 Corinthians 6:11

I only gave a few clementines... or was it much more?

Today, I went to the market.  A head of me in the checkout lin stood a timid Somalian woman.  She placed her meager products on the conveyerbelt,  a few packages of halal bread, bananas, onions and clementines.  Her bill rang about 115 swedish crowns, 12 bucks.  She looked into her purse and asked the cashier with body language and the word 'orange', to deduct and return the clementines.

Me and my husband don't have much and we live a truly humble and meak life, but at this moment knew we have so much of worth.  I asked the cashier to please ring up the fruit and pass it onto the woman's side of the conveyer belt, and place the rest towards my side.

I stood next to this woman while packing my groceries.  When at last she only had the 'oranges' left to pack she turned towards me and could not find words.  Eventually the words that slipped across her lips was a swedish 'no, please'.  I just smiled and said with a silent firm 'please'. 

There was more silence and she uttered a humble thank you, also in swedish. I just smiled, and took my grocery bags and left the store.  I acted on an impulse, and I am very glad I did.  A bunch of fruit is nothing for me to give, however;  the gesture of caring is worth so much more.  I truly believe we all have a right to this earth.  We all are worth knowing, and we all truly come from the same family.  We all belong and have a place, no matter what country one has exiled to.

That nagging feeling... act on it

You know that nagging feeling or thought that pops into your head.  The 'call home', stop by so and so's house, send a card to someone or find that person and so forth.  Act on it.  Drop all and act on it.  I cannot tell you how many times it has been of utmost meaning when I just drop all and follow this type of promptings.

I'll write about some of them later.  I have already posted two similar experiences in this blog.

Take care

Don't become a daily hostage

I meet people in all ages that are looking for that ‘happy’ formula of successful living.

We all know it, but very few of us live by it.  Why?  Because it takes an awful amount of work and is often VERY unpleasant.  This is why people make money on herbal teas, self-help books, positive thinking seminars and such.  People do everything they can to try to avoid unpleasant experiences because that is what they are.  Most responsibilities that have been procrastinated upon and mishandled result in VERY unpleasant heaps of work.

So what do we do?  Get another self-help book?  Eat?  Sleep?  Shut off the telephone?  Hibernate?

Nah that is small stuff in comparison to what really happens.  WE ROB OURSELVES of control of our day, of our freedom of thinking, of what we want to feel, of our time and energy… we can loose all, even our own health.

Don’t convince yourself you cannot deal. 
GET UP, GET DRESSED.  MAKE YOUR BED; FACE THAT DAY – WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY.  (Paraphrased, Sister Beck -2012)

Act against those ‘terrible feelings and forces’ that hang over you by NEVER PROCRASTINATE when it comes to unpleasant chores and things to do. 

When we get too cozy with our time, stuff piles up.  People are kept waiting, banks get impatient and things will turn ugly.

Claim your day as your own.  Force yourself to step up and tackle a tough task today.  You don’t have to conquer your anguish or fear; it will dissipate when you just ACT with NO ALLOWANCE for procrastination of any kind.

This is your magic.  It is all in you.  You just need to ride the wave of your fears as you act and do what you must.  The waves will subdue as you take charge of those areas in your life that are spinning.  With each task you just do them - not analyzing - just do them with fear and anxt in your throat.  You will feel proud, relieved and liberated from much agony by acting.  Free your heart and thoughts from tough living.  Be kind to yourself, don’t let the world steer your life and run amok with your feelings.

I pray for all of us to be our own in life.  With love. Ta ta for now.

When you look for the good, you find it in all things

I have learned, that when one stops nagging about bad things, compare one to others, or whine in silence or out loud, one quickly allows small happy moments to enter one’s life. I have learned, that when one decides to ACT on NOT ALLOWING gleeful thoughts, unhappy annoyances and other behaviors enter into one’s mind and actions, one quickly tune into finding inspirational sources of mental and heartfelt happiness.

When one is filled with good thoughts, how can ones actions be other than good? Then in turn, how can people around oneself not get affected by this in a positive way? If one press forward with what one is given in life without whining or negative thoughts, the burden of everyday life becomes half as heavy. I LOOK ACTIVELY for those cheerful and positive influences that lift me up and I choose to stay away from those that drag me down (whatever that may be).

Love yourself and safeguard those downer thoughts. They often lead into a downward spiral of actions and direction in life!

As I was biking up a steep hill with my 4 year old in the bicycle trailer, I saw this face form at the top.  Cheering me on.  What do you see?

As I have much, I must give

This past weekend, I was in Stockholm Sweden, attending the Waldorf preschool teacher program.  In my heart and mind, this weekend, I felt especially blessed.  My loving husband Jeffrey works so hard to provide me with the means to travel there, stay there for a whole weekend and paying for this course episode.  How much I appreciate the sacrifice he makes for me is for me immeasurable.

I have had as a focus this past February to think about charity.  What I have come to learn, is that charity are all those small things and acts of self-sacrifice and can be as simple as exercising ones awareness of others.  When one is more aware of people around oneself, one tends to not crowd others, have more patience in thoughts and actions.  Most of all, one really starts to see people.  After a while, one notices their faces and expressions.  Then, one starts to care about them and begins to say hello.  Seeking, noticing people that perhaps have gone unseen for so long they have lost themselves on the way.
I stepped off the subway at Bromma central outside of Stockholm.  The incredible stress from people running past me, hitting me with their bags as they do – the perverted language use against one another when bumped into, cut off or having had a door slammed in their face.  I was happy.  I was really happy.  For to me this was a perfect place to see what the opposite of charity is.  This was also the perfect place to seek out faces and find those people that needed a smile, an acknowledgement, a vocal ‘hello’.

Next to a shopping plaza sat a very poor woman in her 50s on the ground.  She was poorly clad with a tattered and worn wool blanket wrapped around her.  To the immediate right was the line for the bank.  About 10 or so people stood there, looking in another direction, avoiding her gaze.  She had a small cardboard box, and was accepting donations.  I had nothing to give.  No money, no food or fruit.  As I rolled past her and a train of 20 or so preschool children with their 5 teachers, I spun around and came to a complete stop.  I looked at the woman again.  I had a very real sense of urgency to do something.  I just could not ignore this prompting in my heart.  I knew immediately what I had to do.  I walked up to her, rolling my loud luggage behind me.  I took off my very large shawl.  A shawl I hold so dear, that has been with me for a very long time.  I wrapped it around this woman and the gratitude lit a spark in her eyes and her face warmed up with a lasting smile.  Seeing this, it was easy to depart from the sorrow of departing from the finest shawl I have.

This was all a very small moment of 40 seconds.  But this woman’s face and thankfulness will carry with me always.  The children were asking their teachers how come I gave my ‘scarf’ away.  The people in the bank line saw… and hopefully one of them will have a small change of heart.  I kissed this woman’s right cheek and looked deep into her eyes with a smile.  To me, she is beautiful, and blessed me immensely with the feelings of gladness that came over me.

Charity is compassion, for oneself and others.  Through compassion one becomes a person that all of a sudden has countless family members to love.

Children are sacred and deserves to be loved

I went to Stockholm this past weekend, specifically to Bromma to continue my Waldorf preschool teacher education. I have been studying for over two years time now and I am halfway to becoming a certified Waldorf preschool teacher (the pictures below are from creations we made this weekend).

Easter treats. A Scandinavian tradition. All items made of wool.

I have worked within the Waldorf preschool for a couple of years, and have had children that attended for a short while. I have learned that although the schools may not run so smoothly as a picky parent would want, the heart of Rudolf Steiner's Waldorf preschool concept is beautiful and so loving. So, I decided I must become a Waldorf teacher. Having 5 boys of my own in all ages ranging from 17 to 4, I understand more and more that it truly is a sacred and amazing blessing to be a mother AND caretaker. Nothing gives me more joy.

At the very heart of a true Waldorf school teacher, is the understanding how sublime and sacred the trust and privilege families and parents bestowed upon [us] when we are asked to care for their children, and I pray that these families and parents in turn have the ability and peace to know that their children is a most beloved treasure. A treasure not all can have, and that some have lost.

Within Waldorf, one must provide a true, practical and loving place for a child to be nurtured. Create a place in this world where the world makes sense. A place where the child can recognize itself each and every day. A place where the child can feel that the world is 'good'. To accomplish this very difficult task one needs to be loving, patient, willing to listen more than speaking, work on self-improvement and enjoy the work with children.

A spring fairy.

Rudolf Steiner explains in his book 'the child's upbringing', that any person around our children must be of moral thoughts and actions; that is a steadfast and true person; that practice clear actions of goodness and ability, to help a child grow up feeling safe, getting to know itself and it's surroundings in a healthy way, and let them be in a world that is good.

The way to accomplish this is to really enjoy working with ALL aspects of children. Easy and/or tough, while following the guidelines above. The power of children is their immediate strength and joy they display while copying those around them. Manners, actions, speech and behaviors, instantly copied into play. Think then, how important isn't it that they are all surrounded by loving and practical people.

Watercolor. A seed in the ground.

Watercolor. A winter landscape.

I love the practical and deep understanding Waldorf philosophy has of children. How one can clearly see that our bodies were meant to do work, and how one can stimulate ones intellect with activities that does not include 'hitting the books'.  How learning takes place in all moments throughout the day when children mimic people in their surroundings and by song, rhyme, rhythm, chores, play and activities that ask for use of both sides of the body at the same time. To also be taught to use ones innate senses as a method of learning. Waldorf makes room and lends itself to further allow ALL unique children and grown-ups to learn. Here one has many tools to set the stage for understandable, tangible, and wise learning. One carries an awareness of how mature each child really is and understand that these small people have very capable hands and strong resolves.

I painted this in my 'watercolor diary'. A course project with the topic '4 seasons'

The love of a mother

I stumblet across this miniature painting my child  Illïus painted when he was 4 years old.  It was about that time I began to paint with oil and water colors.

This small picture was painted on the backside of my business card.  I fell absolutely in love with it!  It has brought tears into my eyes and joy into my heart.  People have been amazed over how beautiful it truly is.

This painting used to sit in a plastic clear frame but the frame broke so the picture was placed in a safe place.... I must confess, it was totally missplaced and to my tearful joy I found it again today.  I have now documented it and pressed it into my physical journal that my husband Jeffrey so lovingly purchased and gave me.

Without further a-do!

"The love of a mother"

It is such a wonderful picture of a mother's perfect love.  Here she sits, on a hill, with her babe wrapped within her arms.  If one looks right beneath the mountain top, one can distinguish the face of a wolf... wathing over them.

Love this picture.  I hope you find it as inspiring as I do.

Time is short... Patience makes it last longer...

Sometimes we have to sacrifice good activities for better ones.  As I have lived here in Sweden for almost 7 years now, I finally take time to look back and can see all my senseless idleness of getting caught up in a weekly rhythm of work, responsibilities and chores.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice good activities for better ones.  Unfortunately, on our list of most important tasks, all too often does family come too far down.  Friends and relatives may not even be on the map.

A small and meager dinner made together is far more pleasing then a balanced perfect meal made by one.

A trip to the market is more pleasing when the family works on going together.  The shopping can become the secondary objective, leaving way for interesting discussions amongst family members about family choices, needs and preferences.

It is many times one does things by ones own ambition, because it is faster and will go smoother then having to involve a family member or friend.  But how many hours does one waste being away from each other.  And how many times, does one feel worn down because one choose to do it alone.  Some even choose to do all alone.  Why rob oneself from helpful company, and why steal the joy from another when they are not allowed to feel capable and helpful.

Patience is times best friend.  Patience lets us do more things with other people.  Patience gives us more time spent in company of people we care about.  Patience takes stress out of our lives and sooths our emotions.  We seem to have more time, be able to fit more good things into our daily schedules and create closer relations with people around us if we have patience in our lives.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice good activities for betters ones.  Bring the ones you love on board to share your 'burdens' and chores.  It will bless and strengthen all involved.

This will take work and getting used to, but the rewards in the return of time and togetherness will be worth it.  I promise to you!

Jeffrey, Duncan, Anïas, Illïus och Xavier.  Nyköping Carnival, Sweden -August 2011.