As I have much, I must give

This past weekend, I was in Stockholm Sweden, attending the Waldorf preschool teacher program.  In my heart and mind, this weekend, I felt especially blessed.  My loving husband Jeffrey works so hard to provide me with the means to travel there, stay there for a whole weekend and paying for this course episode.  How much I appreciate the sacrifice he makes for me is for me immeasurable.

I have had as a focus this past February to think about charity.  What I have come to learn, is that charity are all those small things and acts of self-sacrifice and can be as simple as exercising ones awareness of others.  When one is more aware of people around oneself, one tends to not crowd others, have more patience in thoughts and actions.  Most of all, one really starts to see people.  After a while, one notices their faces and expressions.  Then, one starts to care about them and begins to say hello.  Seeking, noticing people that perhaps have gone unseen for so long they have lost themselves on the way.
I stepped off the subway at Bromma central outside of Stockholm.  The incredible stress from people running past me, hitting me with their bags as they do – the perverted language use against one another when bumped into, cut off or having had a door slammed in their face.  I was happy.  I was really happy.  For to me this was a perfect place to see what the opposite of charity is.  This was also the perfect place to seek out faces and find those people that needed a smile, an acknowledgement, a vocal ‘hello’.

Next to a shopping plaza sat a very poor woman in her 50s on the ground.  She was poorly clad with a tattered and worn wool blanket wrapped around her.  To the immediate right was the line for the bank.  About 10 or so people stood there, looking in another direction, avoiding her gaze.  She had a small cardboard box, and was accepting donations.  I had nothing to give.  No money, no food or fruit.  As I rolled past her and a train of 20 or so preschool children with their 5 teachers, I spun around and came to a complete stop.  I looked at the woman again.  I had a very real sense of urgency to do something.  I just could not ignore this prompting in my heart.  I knew immediately what I had to do.  I walked up to her, rolling my loud luggage behind me.  I took off my very large shawl.  A shawl I hold so dear, that has been with me for a very long time.  I wrapped it around this woman and the gratitude lit a spark in her eyes and her face warmed up with a lasting smile.  Seeing this, it was easy to depart from the sorrow of departing from the finest shawl I have.

This was all a very small moment of 40 seconds.  But this woman’s face and thankfulness will carry with me always.  The children were asking their teachers how come I gave my ‘scarf’ away.  The people in the bank line saw… and hopefully one of them will have a small change of heart.  I kissed this woman’s right cheek and looked deep into her eyes with a smile.  To me, she is beautiful, and blessed me immensely with the feelings of gladness that came over me.

Charity is compassion, for oneself and others.  Through compassion one becomes a person that all of a sudden has countless family members to love.